Family caregivers are heroes, worthy of their own stamp, and a whole lot more

Family caregivers are heroes, worthy of their own stamp, and a whole lot more A U.S. postage stamp honoring the more than 50 million family caregivers may be released by 2011, according to a news report last week.

“The objective of the campaign is to bring awareness of the issues facing family caregivers to the general public, healthcare professionals and public policy officials. A family caregiver is a relative or friend caring for a loved one who is chronically ill, disabled, or living with the frailties of old age and needs assistance. Family caregivers provide nearly 90 percent of the services needed by their loved ones. These services were conservatively valued at more than $375 billion in 2007,” according to the report.

The commemorative stamp is currently under consideration by the U.S. Citizens' Stamp advisory Committee, and you can sign a petition for support of the idea at: www.thefamilycaregiver.org/.

While the honor and recognition that a commemorative postage stamp brings is a wonderful thing, I must admit to thinking, “Most family caregivers could use a lot more than just a stamp!’ Caregivers need some practical help as well.

That thought led me to a new website I’d like to share with you: www.agingcare.com. It’s about as packed full of helpful information as anything else I’ve found, from care and housing suggestions to advice about money, legal issues, and care products. It also has a great community forum, offering family caregivers the chance to exchange ideas, tips, and frustrations with each other and with experts. Check it out!

It’s not easy being green

For some reason – maybe the fact that yesterday was St. Patrick’s day - that refrain from Kermit the Frog came to my mind.

In fact, it’s not easy being anything when we’re talking about family caregiving - except maybe "blue."

It’s not easy being patient – when you’re tired and simply want to get through the tasks to the end of the day.

It’s not easy being compassionate – when you have to wonder if the person in your care is really, truly doing his best.

It’s not easy being cheerful and fun-loving – did I mention being tired all the time?

A new email friend of mine shared with me that she has slept on the couch for the past 2 years so her mother can have her bedroom. Did I mention being tired all the time?

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s day. St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, but we don’t really know much else about him.

Perhaps, like a caregiver, he worked in quiet solitude, helping others gain quality of life to the end of their lives.

Perhaps, like a caregiver, he was tireless in his efforts to bring comfort to those who were troubled, physically or spiritually.

Perhaps, like a caregiver, he sacrificed so that he could do what he believed, in his heart, was his God-given mission on earth.

The weary, devoted family caregiver today will probably never become thought of as a saint.

But then, I’ll bet Patrick never thought that would happen to him, either. I'll bet he never even considered that one day, people would wear green and celebrate his day.

Who knows? Maybe someday we'll all celebrate the true saints that are today's family caregivers.

Need a caregiver? Do's and don’ts of hiring unemployed family members to be caregivers for a loved one.

Most of our clients are in the business of providing care to seniors in assisted living or other community based care settings.

We’re hearing recently that the current high level of unemployment is causing some of our clients to lose their residents to family members needing work – and pay.

It makes sense, certainly, to pay a loved one who desperately needs the work and income to care for mom, rather than paying strangers.

It makes sense, at least, only if the unemployed family member is prepared, capable and ready to provide care.

If I were considering hiring an unemployed cousin to care for my mother, here are some of the questions I’d be asking:

1. Does she have the temperament to be a good caregiver? Is she patient, compassionate, and caring by nature? I might consider how she handles pets, children, friends and neighbors. People who are by nature good caregivers tend to be that way with everyone in their sphere of contact. You can tell the good caregiver in your family – she’s the one who remembers that you hate chocolate, and buys vanilla cake for the party. She’s the one who will rush to pick up the fussing baby, and gently rock it back to sleep. If you think about your relatives, you’ll know who would make the best caregiver, and who probably wouldn’t. That’s question #1.

2. Does she have the time to be a good caregiver? Just because a loved one is unemployed doesn’t mean that she will devote the time to your relative you need. Caregiving means making a commitment to the person receiving care, and to you. Just being present (and spending most of the day job-seeking online) isn’t caregiving. Neither is adding an elderly loved one to a family with children, no longer going to daycare to save money.

3. Does she have the training to be a good caregiver? Fortunately, this doesn’t have to be a make-or-break item on the list. Good caregiver training is available in many places in almost every community. Great books, guides and workbooks are available; there are even online courses for comprehensive caregiver training available and affordable.

These are the first three questions I’d ask myself if I was considering hiring a family member to care for my mom. It’s a good starting point for a very important decision.

When the "Pro" becomes the family caregiver

Wendy Finch is our Vice President of Business Development. She’s been with the company for over 12 years.

But two years ago, she became a family caregiver.

Her mom’s mother, Wendy’s grandmother, became ill and needed a little help with her daily activities. She wanted to stay at home – no, she insisted that she was absolutely, positively going to remain in her home.

Less than a year later, she fell and broke her hip. Against all of Wendy’s professional experience and advice, she was determined to go home.

Wendy’s mom quit her job to become her caregiver, but grandma needed 24 hour care, around the clock.

So the family began the challenge of finding and hiring personal caregivers.

They chose to hire caregivers directly, since they had an “expert” in the family. They’d save money that way, and be able to afford better care, longer, with the resources grandma had at her disposal.

What followed was a scene that family caregivers everywhere can relate to. The daily phone calls (“what do we do when she refuses her medicine?”). The no-show caregivers. The need to find qualified individuals to hire to replace caregivers who could no longer cover all the care needs.

Most of all, the exhaustion and the continual sense that caregiving is a job more challenging than raising a child. If, in fact, raising a child takes a village, caring for a beloved elder takes a full city of people, resources and energy.

Today, Wendy is the staunchest support of our newest online course, the Caregiver/Personal Care Aide Certification Course. She knows what caregivers need to know to provide high quality care, whether they’re related to the person or not. She knows that often – in the middle of the night, or the middle of the afternoon, caregivers are alone with the person in their care, and need all the help in caring and coping they can possibly get.

Wendy’s family, supported by paid, trained caregivers, cared for her grandmother right to the end of her life. She stayed in her home, just like she wanted. She was lucky, too, to be surrounded by family members who not only wanted to do the right thing, but who also had the training and experience to know what that right thing was.

The experience has helped Wendy better understand what other family caregivers are going through too. It’s no longer just a professional awareness; it’s personal, too.